Bye bye 👊

So tonight iv had to say goodbye to both of my men in my life at the moment.

Jake my ex of 5 years has finally moved on and basically told me I'm to do the exact same. 

Which I have been trying to with Ben but I can't because I'm so hung up on jake still. And it's going to and already is ruining my future with someone else and my future. 

Iv gone through everything in my head more then anything else iv ever thought about and I'm going crazy doing so.

Benjamin has been there for me for a while now but being with him and being so close to him makes me miss jake and my old relationship and it makes me relise that iv got a lot of growing and moving on to do. I know it's for the best that I don't speak to Ben untill I'm ready for a relationship again but it's so hard when he's the closest thing iv had the last 5 months. 

I need to do some soul searching and get on with my life but again it's hard. 

I don't want to move to wollongong knowing I have no one there. Not even a friend. Just an ex who's more then happy and a boy iv been Inlove with for awhile but can't be with or be around.

But I need to go and move away In order to get myself on track but I'm scared that I'm just gunna end up back at Eden with my mum. 

Fucking loose loose loose loose.

Life thanks for the 4 minutes of happiness! Fuck you for lifetime of problems.